My Spill

Hey,

I'm Courtney Joi, a Black girl, born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. I am the product of a mother raised in the foster care system and a father who left home at the age of thirteen. My grandmother raised me.

Growing up, I found myself questioning parts of life and who I was. For quite some time I didn't believe I was beautiful. My skin, my weight, and my hair all symbolized that I wasn't the best. I was a little Black girl craving for attention and craving to be desired.

I was told, the world is cruel to you baby girl, there's no reason for you to be cruel to yourself. But in the eyes of the beholder perfection is where I went left. Striving to reach the impossible while my dreams are roaming free. I'm in this spiral of confusion, lost in my allusion, searching for precision of what shall I be.

Spilled Chocolate is the essence of me being a black girl in this country. We are taking a deep dive into systematic oppression and how it has affected the Black family. There is a parallel between how dark you are and how much pain you will experience in this country. I've learned over time that if we don't talk about these traumatic experiences, we can't expect to heal from them. 

Spilled Chocolate is a collection of my stories.  It is the stories of my love ones and the reflections of my peers. I hope you enjoy and find some healing within these words.